A Late Sunday Afternoon on Christopher Street

People walking in the light of a setting sun, a photographer's shadow, and maybe a secret being passed between two men:


But now we have an installment of a brand new feature called...

OH SCANNER GODS, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?
Then again, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I angered the scanner gods, specifically, those that live atop Mount Packard. I never should have strayed, but I'm like Tom Ewell over here and every trip to B&H I got Marilyn Monroe straddling a subway grate with an Epson V-750 rushing through underneath with her doing the very least to keep that airy white dress from billowing up over her head.

I fiddled with Marilyn earlier this morning, and came to the conclusion that I couldn't get it to work in the same way, with the same control I had over the ol' battleaxe (I wonder when the last time was that any man referred to a spouse as a "battleaxe"). But while my HP wasn't the cutest girl on the block, she knew how to put out something fierce. I knew just what to do to get her going and then there was no stopping her. You see, those are the ones to keep your eye on. They're good at that sort of thing because they have to be. Wait, what am I talking about again? Oh yeah.

So I made the switch and flipped the switch and did a scan and...well....

It was just a mess. Weird colors, all sorts of lines, really crazy (dare I say angry?) shit. I didn't even want to do a screen capture to show here. It would just be a reminder of my shame. I never should have looked over the rainbow. Come to think of it, that's kind of like what my preview scans are looking like now, except if that rainbow were chopped up into a bunch of long thin pieces and had all of its aesthetic pleasantness removed. It looked more like the inside of a movie popcorn bucket that someone just vomited in after finishing the entire thing along with a box of Jujubees and washed down with a 64oz Mountain Dew even before the trailers ended. Is anyone else getting hungry?

I have had similar problems like this one before, but never so extreme. I just hope that like with any wandering significant other that I'm eventually forgiven and once more she'll let me turn her on and slip my goods inside her.

Wait, what am I talking about again?