I think this came out pretty darn okay:
SCANNER SURGERY? \
It's a funny thing. For the past few days, things with the scanner have been really cruising along (but not like Cruising with Al Pacino). No bizarre colors or weird lines, things were just like old times with me and my gal. Today I scanned some slide stuff, actually some re-scans of stuff that I wanted to do at a higher dpi, and I noticed dirt, or as the Jews say, shmutz on the image. It was especially visible in areas of sky. Perplexed, I examined the film and found it was clan as was the scanner bed — as well it should have since I was diligently blowing it (Maybe this is more like Cruising with Al Pacino than I realized). I mean, squeezing the ball in my hand to force out the....I mean...oh, you know what I mean.
Yes, the bed was clean, but when I took a look at the clear glass under the lid of the scanner...Oh my...(in my best George Takei).
You see, living in NYC, dust just gets EVERYWHERE and in everything, no matter how much you vacuum or run your fancy Swedish air purifier (though it does help), and the lid of the scanner isn't a one piece deal. It's designed in such a way that it has an inner center panel, and apparently where the center panel meets the rest of the lid isn't dust-proof, so I got some shit going on in there and all the blowing in the world ain't going to satisfy it. So I'm going to have to do some old-fashioned home surgery on this, and it ain't gonna be pretty. Think the liver extraction in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
So tomorrow you'll either be reading about a success story with me making comparisons between myself and Ben Casey, or you'll be reading about a brand new purchase that I made at J&R Music World.
Oh goody. I can't wait, yet I really really can.